May 19, 2014 by musehick
Self censorship is never very conducive to getting something written, but sitting down and writing something about yourself that could alarm a whole bunch of people is also not very clever. Physical difficulties have been impacting me pretty strongly emotionally and I have been majorly depressed for a while. It has cut down the amount of writing I have been able to do because I have been trapped in such bleakness of thought. I deleted several confessional facebook posts, I deleted something written for here that was very negatively focused. I am not someone who is positive for the sake of it; it strikes me as necessary because otherwise I might be dragged down into despair, which is where I have been hanging out for at least a couple of days.
I have to be very self-reliant in these matters because there really isn’t anyone to talk to. Sometimes the self-cheerleading isn’t there. Everything seems bleak, and I succumb to it. I am fighting against the feeling; I know the writing is key to that. I need to re-establish the sanctity of my creative space. That being under threat has made all this even harder.