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July 14, 2011 by musehick

Do you fall in love with your characters? Do you like them? Are they fun to hang out with? I enjoy my characters – even the absolute bastards who most people would drown at birth … why? Because there is something about them that is endearing to me – whether it is the insanity of their evil or their belief that they are doing the right thing, or their push to just do what they want. Bastards and saints can both have integrity and both of them can have charm.

I wish that I could say that I live through my characters vicariously but I swear sometimes – more often than not – their stories are like a snowball pushed down a hill gathering up more snow (interesting idiosyncratic movements birthed by an accretion of individualistic snowflake moments). I have a loose idea of what I want from a story, and some kind of notion about where it is going to go, but none of it is exact and I am often surprised about what direction the muse pushes it all in.

I want to regain this kind of relationship with art – I used to draw in the way I write: with freedom, but I stupidly let the considerations of others enter in and it killed the inspiration; well, I don’t intend to lay down and surrender it … I am going to fight back and regain my full artistic self. So there.

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